From early January 2008, just before the inauguration of President Barack Obama:
In a few short days, an African-American man will move from his private residence into a much larger and infinitely more expensive one owned not by him but by the taxpayers. A vast lawn, a perimeter fence, and many well trained security specialists will insulate him from the rest of us. But the mere fact that this man will be residing in this house should make us all stop and count our blessings, because it proves that we live in a nation where anything is possible.
Many believed this day would never come. Most of us hoped and prayed that it would, but few of us actually believed we would live to see it. Racism is an ugly thing in all of its forms, and there is little doubt that if this man had moved into this house fifteen years ago, there would have been a great public outcry — possibly even rioting in the streets. Today we can all be both grateful and proud that no such mayhem will take place when this man takes up residency in this house.
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love the first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacy to buy some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it’s his first time having sex, so the pharmacist spends about 20 minutes telling the boy the important facts about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms would he like to buy? A 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack? The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be having lots of sex with his girlfriend.
That night, the boy shows up at his girlfriend’s house and meets her at the door. “Oh, I’m so excited for you to meet my parents,” she says, “Come on in! My mom’s in the kitchen, and Dad will be home in a minute.”
Soon the family gathers at the dinner table and everyone sits down. The boy quickly bows his head and offers to say grace. After his words, the boy keeps his head down, still deep in prayer. A minute passes, and still no movement from the boy. Finally his girlfriend leans over and whispers in his ear, “I had no idea you were so religious.”
The boy turns and whispers back, “I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.”
An oldie but a goodie… Recipe for a funny skit: 5 cups water, 1 dozen eggs, 1 Dom DeLuise, 1 Johnny Carson. Add a tray, a broom, and some matchbooks. Mix well. Chaos ensues.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms would he like to buy? A 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack? The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be having lots of sex with his girlfriend.
