How Rubber Gloves are Made

Author: TheJoker  |  Category: Funny Jokes

Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you’re going to smile when you think of this:

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous, so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.

“Do you know how they make these gloves?” he asked.

“No, I don’t,” she replied.

“Well,” he spoofed, “there’s a building in Canada with a big tank of latex, and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.”

She didn’t crack a smile.

“Oh, well.  I tried,” he thought.

But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

The old lady replied, “I was just envisioning how condoms are made!”

Sexy News

Stress Management Technique

Author: TheJoker  |  Category: Funny Jokes

Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique recommended in many of the latest psychological journals:

1.  Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.

2.  Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water.

3.  Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.

4.  No one knows your secret place.

5.  You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.

6.  The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

7.  The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.

See?  It really does work.  You’re smiling already.

Analyze Love

Author: TheJoker  |  Category: Funny Comics

Trivia: Do you know what movie they are referencing with the quote in the last frame?

From xkcd: A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.

News from Iran: Ahmadinejad Tweets Back

Author: TheJoker  |  Category: Funny Videos, Funny Villains

Ahmadinejad gets a Twitter account and tries to master the new social media to crush the rebellion.  What a twit!

My One-Day Job

Author: TheJoker  |  Category: Funny Jokes

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day…

About two hours into my first day on the job, a very loud, unattractive and mean woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.  As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, “Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart.  Nice children you have there.  Are they twins?”

The woman stopped yelling long enough to say, “Hell no, they ain’t twins.  The oldest one is 9, and the other one’s 7.  Why the hell would you think they’re twins?  Are you blind, or just stupid?”

So I replied, “I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma’am.  I just couldn’t believe someone slept with you twice.  Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.”

My supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work.

Addicted to the Internet

Author: TheJoker  |  Category: Funny Comics

From xkcd: A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language

Computer Topics

A Marriage License Should Be Like a Fishing License

Author: TheJoker  |  Category: Funny Signs

As seen in a Wisconsin bar:

“A marriage license should be like a fishing license — it expires every year, and if you go our of state, you can get a 3-day license…”

Obama Endorses Conan O’Brien

Author: TheJoker  |  Category: Funny Politics, Funny TV, Funny Videos

During NBC News’ all-access pass White House visit for Tuesday’s primetime "Inside the Obama White House" special, anchor Brian Williams took a moment to ask the president about new "Tonight Show" host Conan O’Brien.

Here is what President Barack Obama had to say about Conan:

Like him or loathe him, Obama has to be our country’s coolest president ever.

More Obama Stuff

Evolution of Teaching Math in America

Author: TheJoker  |  Category: Funny Jokes

Last week I purchased a cheeseburger at McDonalds for $1.58.  I handed $2.08 to the young woman behind the counter.  She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while staring blankly at her register.  I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me back two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help.  While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she started crying in frustration.  Why do I tell you this?  Because of the evolution in teaching math in the United States over the past six decades:

Teaching Math in 1959

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.  What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1969

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80.  What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1979

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost of production is $80.  Did he make a profit?

Teaching Math in 1989

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.  Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math in 1999

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.  He does this so he can make a profit of $20.  What do you think of his way of making a living?  Topic for class participation after answering the question:  How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger destroyed their homes?  (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it’s OK.)

Teaching Math in 2009

Un maderero vende un camión cargado de madera por $100.  Su coste de producción es de $80.  ¿Se obtienen beneficios?