April Fool’s Day is tomorrow, April 1st. It’s an annual “holiday” when humor reigns, and pranks and practical jokes are expected and allowed.
Computers are a great medium for April Fool’s jokers because most users have no clue what goes on behind those blinking computer lights. So when a hapless user is hit with a computer prank, they immediately suspect a malfunction, virus or worse.
The world has always obsessed over Tiger Woods, but never more so than after Woods crashed his SUV at 3am Thanksgiving night after his wife Elin discovered Tiger’s numerous infidelities. In his first speech after the incident, Tiger claimed, “Elin never hit me that night or any other night.”
But the world suspected otherwise. We all imagined Tiger’s wife Elin wielding one of his pro 5-irons, chasing the world’s richest athlete out of his multi-million-dollar mansion into his Cadillac Escalade, and running down the street trying to bash out the windows.
A Taiwan tabloid, Apple Daily, used computer animation to recreate what they believed happened on that fateful night. The clip starts slowly with an overhead shot of Woods’ driveway from a news helicopter. But the action picks up about midway through the video when an animated Elin starts swinging away.
TIME Magazine Beijing correspondent Austin Ramzy provided a rough translation of the voiceover from the video’s climax when Elin slaps Tiger across the face: “There’s lots of questionable points about Wood’s wife’s deposition, especially because the air bag on Woods car didn’t inflate but his face was covered with bruises.” (read the rest of the translation)
Check out this amazing card trick by comedian James Galea at The 2009 Melbourne International Comedy Festival Gala for Oxfam Australia. He opens with a simple arm trick “IQ Test” for the audience.
A newlywed couple is on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about to consummate their marriage, when the bride says to her husband, “I have a confession to make… I’m not a virgin. I’ve been with another man.”
The husband replies, “That’s no big thing in this day and age. Who’s the other guy?”
The IRS decided to audit Grandpa and summoned him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor started, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.”
“I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” replied Grandpa. “How about a demonstration?”
The auditor pondered for a moment and said, “Okay, go ahead.”
Grandpa said, “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.”
The auditor thought for a moment and said, “It’s a bet.”
After loading all of Pope Benedict’s luggage into the limo, the driver noticed the Pope was still standing on the curb. “Excuse me, Your Holiness,” said the driver. “Would you please take your seat in the limo so that we can leave?”
“Well, to tell you the truth,” the Pope replied, “they never let me drive at the Vatican anymore like when I was a cardinal, and I’d really like to drive today.”
“I’m sorry, Your Holiness, but I can’t let you do that. I’d lose my job! What if something should happen?” protested the driver, wishing he’d never gone to work that morning.
“Who’s going to tell?” the Pope said with a smile.
Students at a local high school were assigned to read two books, “Titanic” and “My Life” by former President Bill Clinton. One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His professor gave him an A+ for this report:
If a man cuts his finger off while slicing salami at work, he blames the restaurant.
If your father smokes three packs of cigarettes a day for 40 years and dies of lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company.
If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, he blames the bartender.
If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you blame television.
If your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame the gun manufacturer.
And if a crazed person breaks into a jet cockpit and tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, but the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the crazed deceased blames the airline.
I must have lived too long to understand the world as it is anymore.
So, if I die while my old wrinkled ass is parked in front of this computer, I want all of you to blame Bill Gates!
A lady writes in to her local newspaper’s advice column: “Hi, I think that my son might have a marijuana plant growing in my kitchen. What should I do?”
The next day, the answer was posted in the paper: “Take some of the leaves, cut them up, dry them, mix them in with some tobacco, roll it into a cigarette, and then smoke it. If you’re still worried afterwards, then it’s a sunflower.”
April Fool’s Day is tomorrow, April 1st. It’s an annual “holiday” when humor reigns, and pranks and practical jokes are expected and allowed. 
After loading all of Pope Benedict’s luggage into the limo, the driver noticed the Pope was still standing on the curb. “Excuse me, Your Holiness,” said the driver. “Would you please take your seat in the limo so that we can leave?”
