Web Funny

Your word is:

Methionylthreonylthreonylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamyl-
serylleucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamy-
larginyllysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylp-
henylalanylvalylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycyli-
soleucylglutamylglutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspart-
ylthreonylleucylisoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspart-
ylalanylleucylglutamylleucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylal-
anylserylaspartylprolylleucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylth-
reonylisoleucylglutaminylasparaginylalanylthreonylleucyla-
rginylalanylphenylalanylalanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylpr-
olylalanylglutaminylcysteinylphenylalanylglutamylmethiony-
lleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginylglutaminyllysylhistidy-
lprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucylglycylleucylleucyl-
methionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalylphenylalanyla-
sparaginyllysylglycyl…

plus another 189,000 letters!

Longest English Word

Check out this funny infographic on how Americans perceive Europe:

A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband’s best friend.  After they finish having sex, they cuddle for a few moments when the phone rings.  Since they are in the woman’s house, she picks up the phone.  Her lover watches and listens, hearing only her side of the conversation.

Speaking in a cheery voice, the woman says: “Hello? … Oh, hi…  I’m so glad that you called…  Really?  That’s wonderful…  I am so happy for you…  That sounds terrific…  Thanks…  OK, goodbye, Dear.”

The woman hangs up the phone, and her lover asks, “Who was that?”

“Oh,” she replies, “that was just my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he’s having with you on his fishing trip.”

From “Where’s the Any Key?”

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up…

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, “Things are great and I’ve never felt better.  I now have a 20-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child!  So what do you think about that, Doc?”

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.  “I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.

“One day he was setting off to go hunting.  In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.  As he neared the lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water’s edge.

“He realized he’d left his gun at home and so he couldn’t shoot the magnificent creature.  Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle, and went ‘bang, bang’.

“Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.  Now, what do you think of that?” asked the doctor.

The 86-year-old said, “Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.”

The doctor replied, “My point exactly.”

From Politically Incorrect Humor

During a recent security audit, a company discovered that a
blonde employee was using the following password:

“MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento”

When the company asked the blonde why she had such a long password, she said the login screen required the password to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

From Politically Incorrect Humor

A drunk guy falls through a car window during a parade.  And it wasn’t even his car.  The video narrator sounds like comic actor Seth Rogen.  Warning: Brief profanity.

A lady went into a bar in Waco, Texas and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table.  He had the biggest boots she’d ever seen.

The woman asked the cowboy if it’s true what they say about men with big feet being well endowed.  The cowboy grinned and said, “Shore is, little lady.  Why don’t you come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?”

The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him.  The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.

Blushing, he said, “Well, thankya, ma’am.  Ah’m real flattered.  Ain’t nobody ever paid me fer mah services before.”

“Don’t be flattered,” the woman replied.  “Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit.”

Yet another hilarious strip from xkcd: A webcomic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language:

You know you’ve done wrong when Homer Simpson can claim the high moral ground.