A teenage boy just passed his driving test and asked his father if he could use the family car.
His father anticipated this question and replied, “I’ll make you a deal. If you bring your grades up to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, you can use the car.”
The boy thought about it for a moment and agreed to take the offer.
About six weeks later his father said, “Son, you’ve brought your grades up, you’ve been studying the Bible, but I’m disappointed you haven’t cut your hair.”
The boy answered, “You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about that. I noticed the Bible says that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair … and there’s even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.”
So his father replied, “Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?”
Annoying Orange is one of the latest viral videos on YouTube. It stars — you guessed it — an annoying orange fruit that finds himself in a series of crazy adventures. Each video has millions of views.
Check out this “Back to the Fruiture” episode in which Annoying Orange goes back in time to protect himself from an evil future space warlord!
At a recent U2 concert in Scotland, lead singer and social activist Bono asked the audience for complete silence. Once the crowd was quiet, Bono started clapping his hands together every few seconds. After a minute or so, Bono leaned into the microphone and said, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."
At which point a man in the front row yelled in a thick Scottish accent: "Well then stop clapping, ya evil basterd!"
The kids filed back into class on Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.
Little Sally led off: “I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30,” she said proudly. “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit, and I credit that approach for my obvious success.”
“Very good,” said the teacher.
Little Jenny was next: “I sold magazines,” she said. “I made $45 and explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.”
“Very good, Jenny,” said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn. The teacher held her breath …
Nearly every morning a guy walks up to a female co-worker at the office coffee machine, leans in, inhales a big breath of air, and remarks that her hair smells terrific.
After a week of this behavior, the woman can’t stand it anymore, so she stops by the Human Resources department to file a sexual harassment complaint against him.
The HR supervisor is puzzled and asks, “What’s sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you that your hair smells nice?”
The woman replies, “It’s Keith, the little person."
This is likely the strangest video you’ll see all day. I have no idea why the unmanned car is driving in circles, or why these little people are throwing plates at it.
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling rather hungry, the cannibal sat down and looked over the menu:
At a recent U2 concert in Scotland, lead singer and social activist Bono asked the audience for complete silence. Once the crowd was quiet, Bono started clapping his hands together every few seconds. After a minute or so, Bono leaned into the microphone and said, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies." 
