A teenage boy just passed his driving test and asked his father if he could use the family car.
His father anticipated this question and replied, “I’ll make you a deal. If you bring your grades up to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, you can use the car.”
The boy thought about it for a moment and agreed to take the offer.
About six weeks later his father said, “Son, you’ve brought your grades up, you’ve been studying the Bible, but I’m disappointed you haven’t cut your hair.”
The boy answered, “You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about that. I noticed the Bible says that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair … and there’s even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.”
So his father replied, “Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?”
A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stories: spilled milk, pennies saved. But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. “Janie, do you have a story to share?” the teacher asked.
“Yes ma’am. My daddy told me a story about my mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. My mommy shot 15 of them with her pistol until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.
“Good Heavens,” said the horrified teacher. “What did your daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?”
“Stay away from Mommy when she’s been drinking.”
20Mar
Author: TheJoker | Category:
Funny Parents,
Funny Videos
