You know you’ve done wrong when Homer Simpson can claim the high moral ground.
The world has always obsessed over Tiger Woods, but never more so than after Woods crashed his SUV at 3am Thanksgiving night after his wife Elin discovered Tiger’s numerous infidelities. In his first speech after the incident, Tiger claimed, “Elin never hit me that night or any other night.”
But the world suspected otherwise. We all imagined Tiger’s wife Elin wielding one of his pro 5-irons, chasing the world’s richest athlete out of his multi-million-dollar mansion into his Cadillac Escalade, and running down the street trying to bash out the windows.
A Taiwan tabloid, Apple Daily, used computer animation to recreate what they believed happened on that fateful night. The clip starts slowly with an overhead shot of Woods’ driveway from a news helicopter. But the action picks up about midway through the video when an animated Elin starts swinging away.
TIME Magazine Beijing correspondent Austin Ramzy provided a rough translation of the voiceover from the video’s climax when Elin slaps Tiger across the face: “There’s lots of questionable points about Wood’s wife’s deposition, especially because the air bag on Woods car didn’t inflate but his face was covered with bruises.” (read the rest of the translation)
A newlywed couple is on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about to consummate their marriage, when the bride says to her husband, “I have a confession to make… I’m not a virgin. I’ve been with another man.”
The husband replies, “That’s no big thing in this day and age. Who’s the other guy?”
“Tiger Woods,” says the wife.
The Cincinnati mayor throws perhaps the worst “first pitch” in baseball history:
Two mixed-martial-arts fighters knocked each other out at the same time. It was funny when the announcer said, “Whoever gets up first I guess wins.”
